


A Purrposal

by Fox_Salz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, F/F, Multi, Pre-Relationship, Scourge Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20525480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: Nepeta has a plan. The Scourge Sisters are as difficult as expected.





	A Purrposal

**Author's Note:**

> Happy September and happy [Conciliatory Month](https://diamondsandclubsmonth.tumblr.com)! I'm so glad to finally have the push to write my first ashen piece.

Nepeta bounded out of her cave hive with purpose. Today was an important day!

Her wonderful, loving, stinky sweaty horse of a meowrail had tried to forbid her from doing this. Yet she had been steadfast, explaining in great detail—with charts and everything—that she _had_ to do this. Eventually he had given his reluctant agreement, of course making her promise to troll him the second anything turned dangerous.

The pump biscuit always prevailed!

She had gotten Vriska and Terezi to meet her at a tucked away, rarely traipsed clearing under the guise of an important flarp meeting. Flarping, the seemingly singular thing that could get them working together. Of course, on the other side of the coin, it was a major hazard. Threatening to life and limb, normally.

The other two had yet to arrive by the time Nepeta got there. Though she didn’t have long to wait, propped up on a stump and leg bouncing in anticipation. The Scourge Sisters soon came out from behind the trees. Scourge Sisters, because they were in full flarp regalia. Nepeta beamed, delighted. She appreciated their roleplay dedication.

“Purreetings!”

“Hey, Nepeta,” Terezi snickered.

Vriska, hand on her hip, got right down to business asking, “So what’s this supposedly big news?”

Now that it was time Nepeta was suddenly nervous. But she had to persevere! With a deep breath she hopped up on her feet, standing on the stump for some height.

“Thank mew fur coming tonight. We need to have a furry impurrtant discussion on the Scourge Sisters.”

Vriska’s eyes lit up with interest. Terezi, meanwhile, leaned heavily on her cane gazing about three inches in the wrong direction of where Nepeta was. Her lips twitched upwards.

“What sort of matter, Pouncellor?”

“As I’m sure mew two have noticed, mew work great together! You’re a clawsome furce to be reckoned with!” Both nodded, humming in agreement. Nepeta waited a moment before dropping the other shoe. “But you’re also furry dangerous disasters.”

“Scalie, not a furry,” Terezi corrected.

“Well yeah we’re dangerous. Thank you for noticing.” Vriska crossed her arms smugly, hair flipping over her metal shoulder.

“No, I mean dangerous in a bad way.”

“I don’t follow. Are you trying to say we’re not dangerous enough?”

Well, this was proving as difficult as Nepeta had assumed it would be. Just further proof this had to happen!

“What I’m trying to say is that mew both are dangerous to _yourselves_. Also literally efurryone around mew.”

Vriska scoffed.

“What’s so bad about that? We _want_ to show off how dangerous we are. Don’t mess with the Scourge Sisters.”

“We are the best of the best,” Terezi agreed, “striking fear into the pump biscuits of the unjust!”

“More than just them. Mew guys sort of mess efurryone up.”

“I can’t claim complete innocence,” Terezi admitted, straightening with a sheepish but pointy grin. “There have been some...mishaps.”

“Oh, you’re just blowing things out of proportion!” Vriska waved off. “It hasn’t been that bad.”

“Whiska, mew paralyzed Tafuros, blinded Purrezi, and used Solicks to kill Pawadia.”

“She’s better now. Besides, those last two were self defense!”

“It’s true, I was absolutely going to cull her.“

“You were just going to take the law into your own fronds instead of taking a moment to cool your hot head and see things from a different perspective.”

“Yes, back when I _could_ see. You got off easy. In fact, I did you a favor! The missing eye and arm suit you.”

“Oh how do you know, you’re blind.”

They started bickering back and forth, and Nepeta rolled her eyes fondly. They could be so good for each other! So long as someone capable was there to reel them in before serious damage was done.

After a moment she decided to clear her throat purposefully. That did not get their attention. Again she cleared her throat, louder this time, and again got the same non-result.

“Ahem! I’m still talking, purrlease!”

To her immense surprise and satisfaction, they both finally turned back to her. Nepeta beamed.

“Thank mew! As I was saying, yes mew are both furry clawpable and impurressive trolls, and mew can work so well together! Howefur, mew despurrately knead someone who will call you both out when mew go too fur, and keep mew guys furom doing incredibly stupid things trying to one up each other.”

“Sounds a whole lot like you’re trying to top leaf us,” Vriska commented, and Nepeta couldn’t tell what she thought about that. Terezi, though, was a mouthful of dagger-like grins.

“Do you really think you can handle us, Nepeta?”

“I’m pawsitive I can be a good influence on your relationship.”

“The little kitty wants to tame the Scourge Sisters,” Vriska scoffed. “That’s almost adorable.”

Terezi’s hand shot out, slapping her arm and grinning wider at Vriska’s surprised yelp.

“Don’t be rude to Nepeta. Besides, we haven’t finished hearing her offer.”

While Vriska grumbled to herself, she did look expectedly at Nepeta. Feeling more confident Nepeta continued.

“I purromise that I can and will do efurrything I can to keep mew two safe and not murdering efurryone else, whether it’s flarp or not.”

“I take it back, it _is_ adorable that you want to throw down with the big trolls, Nepeta. Color me impressed. I’m almost tempted to let you give this little challenge a shot.”

“This isn’t some game, Whiska. I genuinely care about mew both, and I want mew to be able to be together. It’s just that when mew and Purrezi interact, things go sort of...deadly. But with someone around to act as a buffer, I know mew would be so much better off! So, yes, I want to be your top leaf.”

Nepeta waited with bated breath as the other two looked at each other—or an approximation thereof. A silent conversation played out that she had no hopes of deciphering; she should probably try to learn, depending on how they answered.

After a long moment they finally turned back to her.

“Heh. Alright, we’ve decided,” Terezi announced.

“We’ll give you chance,” Vriska continued, arms crossing again in a way that seemed like she was going for aloof but got stuck at defensive. “Mostly because I think it’ll be funny.”

Terezi whipped her cane around, smacking Vriska on the ankle. She hissed, making to grab the cane, but before she could Nepeta surged forward and enveloped them both into a tight hug.

“Mew won’t regret this! I’ll keep mew both in check, mewl see.”

“I’m pretty sure I already regret this,” Vriska sighed dramatically.

Snickering, Terezi pinched her hip. They started bickering again, Vriska flailing around to hit her back while Terezi wiggled out of the way and egged her on.

Nepeta had her work cut out for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Vriska and Terezi are prime examples of two trolls who desperately need a top leaf.


End file.
